2.04.2008

As Seen on TV

Our funny friends over on the Have A Happy Fun Time blog unleashed this list recently.
It's The Top 25 Things that Only Happen in the Movies [and on TV] and it made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion. Here are my favorites from the list:

1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.
6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
11. Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty.
17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
20. All single women have a cat.
21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

I'd also have to add:
-Your life crises get resolved in forty-five minutes or less (maybe an hour and a half if you're lucky enough for a "To Be Continued" episode)
-Ugly duckling high school girls ALWAYS turn out to be beautiful swans with a mere at-home makeover by her friends
-Sentimental moments are easy to identify by the cheesy elevator music that serenades you during them
-Drunk karaoke is ALWAYS a good idea when you're broken-hearted

...and lots more. Any others you can think of?

2 comments:

Lisa said...

Ha! I love this! So true. Oh never happens in real life: whenever you're in a pit of "THERE ARE NO GOOD GUYS ANYWHERE" you will go drinking with your friends and meet a hunky single gentleman who falls in love with you.

Jill said...

women always do everything in full makeup and perfect hair, including sleep, sex, and personal crisis..

men get older and look distinguished and still get a 20 year old bimbo to fawn over them, women who get older are washed up and MUST have surgery, be on diets, etc. etc.. and 20 year olds call them grandma..

there are no needs to go to the bathroom except to cry, or throw up (a la find out you are pregnant) Noteable exception: Ally McBeal in which half the show, including dance and song numbers took place in the bathroom (a la dancing baby)

unless you're a cop, a doctor, or a medical examiner, your job doesn't really exist (see soap operas)